


The Ocean Itself

by Macremae



Category: EOS 10 (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Marriage, Weddings, but he can say pretty things, ryan may not be good with emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:03:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macremae/pseuds/Macremae
Summary: Written as a birthday present for @sadhipstercat's birthday- HBD Kit!!--Ryan and Akmazian actually get married.





	The Ocean Itself

The first person to find out is, ironically enough, Urvidian. 

This is because he is about as perceptive as a deaf, three hundred year old tortoise with cataracts when it comes to personal matters, but instantly becomes Sherlock-motherfucking-Holmes the moment Ryan’s personal life is brought into the mix. 

It happens while they’re scrubbing in. Urvidian only joins Ryan for surgeries when he wants to complain, which is every two days or so, and Ryan is rapidly running through a list of what could have irked his boss this time. It’s a very long list, and he’s kicking himself for scheduling a dual cardiac transplant the day after he accidentally knocked down all the shelves in the supply closet while giving Akmazian a blowjob. 

He slides the new ring off of his finger and sets it beside the sink carefully. Urvidian eyes it with interest. 

“I never saw you as a jewelry person,” he says faux-casually. 

Ryan blinks in confusion for a moment, before connecting the dots and blushing for the fifth time that day (the previous four had happened before he’d even left his quarters. One involved Akmazian and a waffle maker). 

He touches it briefly, and says, “Oh, uh, well… y’know how Akmazian and I got technically married at the courthouse after his trial?” Urvidian nods, so he continues, “Well, now that he’s reconnected with his family and everything’s kind of sorted out, we, uh, we thought… we should, y’know. Have a real wedding.”

Akmazian’s proposal had been significantly more romantic (and very, very sappy and heartfelt and charming, and oh god Ryan was in deep), but Ryan and Urvidian were not entirely creatures of emotion. 

Instead, Urvidian simply nods and says, “I would appreciate it if I were not here when Nurse Johns and Levi find out.”

Ryan grimances. He forgot about the screaming.

\--

There is a lot of screaming. 

Jane is jumping up and down and clapping with delight, while Levi is gripping his arm and simply _insisting_ that he be allowed to help plan the occasion. Ryan has a feeling that this would lead to a pants-less dress code, and politely hands the responsibility over to Jane. 

Jane squeals at an even higher pitch.

“Ryan have I told you how much I love you today? Because right now, you are, like, my favorite person in the world,” she says, throwing her arms around him and crushing him in a hug. 

Ryan laughs. “I wouldn’t take it that far. I promised Ellie she could help too.”

“Oh boy,” Jane says, pulling back, “what was that like?”

“We promised each other we would plan each other’s weddings when we were five. I haven’t told her yet.”

“Okay,” Jane says, grabbing her tablet and beginning to type, “Well I hope she likes glitter.”

\--

The Dalias twins are happy criers, and Ellie is no exception. She spends several minutes choked up about how, “My baby brother is getting married!” until Ryan reminds her that they’re twins, and Ellie reminds him that she was born first, and it all sort of goes downhill from there. 

Then she mentions renting a glitter cannon for the occasion, and Ryan realizes that, once again, his life choices continue to get him into situations no man should ever face.

\--

“So wait,” Akmazian says over a dinner of the one thing Ryan can reliably produce (mac and cheese), “are we havin’ best men or bridesmaids, or both?”

Ryan considers this. “I know Ellie and Jane and Levi will fight each other to the death over being best man, and that can’t end well. Maybe we should just have a couple people between us, and keep the titles sort of ambiguous? Because I know your sisters will probably want to be bridesmaids.”

“I was thinkin’ of makin’ Isaña the ring bearer.”

“Wouldn’t she be a flower girl?”

“Nah, y’gotta have young kids for that. She’s almost twelve; she’d pitch a fit. Tiana’s got two boys that can do it just fine.”

“We’ll need to find someone who can do the flowers though. Not Levi.”

“God, no. Before he even comes in that building, I want every pocket of his imaginable checked. The day I let Levi turn our wedding into a floral armageddon is the day I put the parking brake on the Silent Storm.”

Ryan considers this. “Y’know, maybe a few plants wouldn’t be such a bad idea then-”

“Hey!”

\-- 

While Jane and Levi drag Akmazian to pick out a dress, Ryan and Ellie go suit shopping. 

“So I’m thinking gold metallic-”

“No.”

“Aw c’mon, it’ll bring out your eyes!”

Ryan shoots her a glare. “Ellie, how does gold bring out dark blue? It makes no sense.”

“I mean my second option is lavender, but that’ll clash with your hair,” Ellie says, actually crossing off gold on her list. Ryan sighs.

“Look, how about we just stick with black. Please?”

“What?! No, that’s so boring!” Ellie groans, staring at him incredulously. “Can’t we go with some kind of nice print or something? What about black with a pastel floral design?”

Considering this, Ryan sighs again. “I guess that could work.”

The first two shops are no good, and on their way to the third, Ryan asks, “So how’s planning with Jane?”

Ellie makes a pained face. “Well, y’know, about as easy as planning a Methodist-Sunni Muslim-Catholic wedding between an Alliance commander and a former intergalactic fugitive can be, especially when Levi keeps poking his stupid nose into everything, neither family can decide on a minister, and, apparently, there’s no such thing as a goddamn glitter canon!”

Ryan frowns. “I thought I told you no glitter canon.”

“It can work, it’s gonna work,and I will fucking make it work, now do you want this to be another one of those stupid Alliance things we had to go to as kids, or do you want this to be something that gets you laid afterward? Because I can’t do both, Ryan!”

She gives him a look that suggests serious bodily harm, and Ryan wisely chooses to change the subject. 

\--

Ryan plans out how to ask Urvidian to be the minister down to the last detail. 

This is how it actually goes:

Ryan: “Um. So. You’re technically in the military, right?”

Urvidian: “We all are.”

Ryan: “Right, right, um-”

Urvidian: “Yes.”

Ryan: “What?”

Urvidian: “Yes I will marry you and your husband in the eyes of whichever church you’ve agreed upon. Honestly, the fact that it took you this long to ask is ridiculous.

Ryan: “... Oh. Okay. Uh- thanks!”

Urvidian: “Please don’t mention it.”

(Ryan gives him a huge, stunning smile that seems almost achingly familiar. “Really,” he says, and puts a hand on Urvidian’s shoulder, “thank you.)

(Urvidian cries later, because there are many things he never got to say to his son, but maybe he never needed to say them at all.)

\--

Ryan is five feet away from the altar when he completely forgets his vows.

He tenses, and his mother shoots him a look of concern as she walks him down the aisle, but he shoots her a placating look. She looks unconvinced, but leaves to sit down anyway.

All while Urvidian is talking, Ryan panics internally. He forgot his vows. _He forgot his freaking vows._ How the hell could this happen? Stress? Probably. The universe messing with him yet again? Oh, no fucking doubt. 

The “why” is unimportant. What is, is that Ryan has now approximately three minutes to think of something profound and beautiful enough to say that properly expresses how goddamn in love he is with the man in front of him.

A life in the military has taught Ryan to keep a cool head in a crisis, but he’s screaming his head off internally. By the time Urvidian is finished, he’s got a line about the sustinary properties of oatmeal, and pretty much nothing else. Everyone’s eyes are on him, and there’s really nothing else to do, so he decides to do the one thing that got him in this entire situation in the first place: 

Wing it.

He takes a deep breath and says, “Okay. When I was twenty one years old, I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to make it to the end of the year. My parents were fighting again, I had completely shattered my spine, my sister and I weren’t speaking, and I… well, I was a drug addict. If you had told me that I would be standing here today, surrounded by my favorite people in the world, about to marry the most amazing person the universe has ever created, I would have asked for a hit of whatever you were on.

“But here I am. Here _we_ are. And there is no place I’d rather be. The universe can be a crazy, awful place. It’s hurt the both of us, and it doesn’t show any signs of stopping. But it brought me you. And if it lets me keep you, then I don’t care what else it throws at us, as long as we face it together. You are the kindest, bravest, truest person I know, not despite, but _because_ of what you have been through. And that, to me, is the most amazing thing about you. If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself. 

“You used to not believe me when I told you I loved you, and I hope I will always be able to convince you otherwise, because there’s nothing stupid about wanting to be loved. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I want to spend my entire life showing you how much.”

Akmazian is unabashedly crying, tears silently falling down his smiling face. He clears this throat and whispers, “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

Then, he wipes the tears from his cheeks, pulls a piece of paper from his dress pocket, and begins to read. “Ryan, my love, my beautiful darlin’, you were the only one who believed me when the universe didn’t, and for that I will always be grateful. The first time I ever saw you, you were the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen. The way you looked at me, like you had heard all the rumors, all the stories about me, and just didn’t care… no one else had ever. You didn’t back down a bit, and even after I left, I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. 

“You’re right in sayin’ that the both of us had been through a lot, but I don’t feel any shame in sayin’ that you saved me. You showed the world who I was, and made me believe that freedom was a thing worth fightin’ for. When I ran, I chose a new name, and I never liked it until you said it. 

“In my travels, I’ve met a lot of people, but none as special as you. There’ve been many, but you, you’re special to me. When I’m with you I feel somethin’ is just right. I believe in you. I like you. I don’t want to let you go. There are souls that you feel t’lean forward to, like a sun-filled window, and I can’t picture myself in any other place, with any other person. You are my reason, for everything I do, and I love you endlessly for it.

“Ryan, you are the kindest person I’ve met. I fell in love with your heart, and your determination in everything you do. I fell in love with the way you see the good in everything and everyone, even if they don’t see it themselves. I fell in love with your unchanging soul, your steadfastness, your certainty in who you want to be. Life has not been kind to you, but you are so kind to it. Be soft. Don’t let the world make you hard. Don’t let the pain make you hate. Don’t let the bitterness steal your sweetness. 

“I love you more than every heart that’s ever loved. It was never somethin’ I chose, but somethin’ that was always meant to happen the moment I saw you. I love you, I will always love you, and there will never be a time when I won’t want to be by your side. I make a lot of promises to you, all ones that I intend to keep, but I hope you’ll allow me one more: You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me.”

Ryan is crying too, and when, from very far away, Urvidian says he may now kiss the groom, he leans in without a second thought. Both of their lips taste like salt and sunrises.

\--

After the afterwards, after dancing and eating and more dancing and kissing in the coat closet, then kissing in the taxi home, then more than kissing in their room, Ryan carefully extricates himself from Akmazian’s arms and looks out his porthole window. The stars look like snowflakes, falling from millions of miles away.

Ryan wonders how there could have once been so many between them.

He looks back at Akmazian, his chest rising and falling peacefully in the dark. The starlight plays on his face, turning his hair into a river of silver. Ryan’s heart swells too big for his chest, and he feels so unbelievably happy in this moment, he wonders how he ever thought there was anything else. 

Love is a word used too much, and much too soon, but Ryan can’t think of anything else to say.


End file.
